So I am sitting here at work with the luxury (thanks to a smart phone) of watching my daughter’s first dance performance on video. This is a wonderful thing. But the problem is…I don’t work part-time to watch videos of my children doing something.
Yesterday, I experienced a moment that felt like society saying ” F*** you working mom, we aren’t going to help you”. This week, Ariel participated in her first “ballet” experience. She attended a creative movement camp at a nearby performing arts center. It was just for the mornings and it was the first time she wouldn’t have an adult with her at all times. Before hand, I asked them if there was anything special on the last day, a performance or demonstration. I was told “no”. Well, I take her on Thursday morning and there it is, all over the room: “You are invited to our show! Come to our show!” On top of everything else that was going on this week (Micah’s tooth, unexpected visitors, basement flood) this was the last straw for me. I was SO upset.
This was going to be her first performance of anything and I was going to miss it. I mostly maintained my composure, I complained to the person in charge. I disappeared to the bathroom until I could regain my composure and squash my urge to sob. You see, I knew SHE wouldn’t mind that I wasn’t there, but I mind! I wanted to see her. I had asked about this, so I could change my schedule if need be. I was prepared, but the rest of the world often isn’t and doesn’t understand how tightly scheduled and organized mothers often are so that we can work AND do things with our kids.
Arrangements were made for a friend to videotape it and I know she will do a wonderful job. But it won’t be the same. I missed it. And the truth is, I work part-time so I don’t have to miss these moments.