My daughter is in a phase of needing my physical presence as though it is air. Although, she is quite happy at home, or preschool, or out and about without me, she finds it very very difficult when I leave her. She has an elaborate ritual that must be performed before I leave. It involves a certain numbers of kisses on each of my cheeks, a sequence of kisses administered to different parts of my face, the bunny kisses on my nose, and finally squeezy hugs. This has been going on for a couple of months, and I have been late to many things because of it. As frustrating as it can be when you are trying to get out the door, I must admit that part of me loves all this physical attention from my little fairy girl (a little wild fairy is what she resembles when she flutters around me trying to start her ritual).
Well, as with everything with children, change is a afoot. When I was a new mother, a more experienced mother advised me to enjoy the days I could and not fret too much about the bad days because everything changes. This is a great truth: everything changes, or as the Buddhists tell us: everything is impermanent.
The other night I was cuddling with Ariel in bed and she asked if I was going out after she was asleep. I had planned to go for a run with a friend and I told her this. She replied: “that’s OK, Mummy. I want to give you a hug and a kiss, and then I will let you go.” She will let me go.
I was happy to avoid the usual drama my departures usually precipitate, but sad to recognize the growing up of my girl. I was also amused at the idea of her giving permission for me to go!
But, oh, my sweet girl, I don’t really ever want you to ever let me go. I am very glad she is still just a little girl of not even 4.