SO..confession: I wrote this blog post before my ode to my 2 year old, but I didn’t think my return to the blog after 2 months should be work negativity….

Today, I had an intensely busy day, made more so by my attempts at arranging general anesthesia for a couple of patients on the wait list. Being on the “wait list” means that someone has decided you need a procedure, we do not have any elective anesthesia/OR time free so they put the patient/procedure on the list hoping that it will happen sometime soon. I was booked “out of OR” today. This means that I spend the morning giving anesthetics for MRIs (most kids cannot lie completely still for this test) and the afternoon providing sedation for patients having joint injections and lumbar punctures.

THe morning started off with a bang in MRI when I was confronted with the fact that there were 3 patients who required an MRI on a semi-urgent basis and we have no space on our elective list (the wait list for an elective MRI here is almost one year!). I was not on call so why do I bother getting involved? It always ends up being SUCH a hassle. AND it delays the case I am supposed to be doing. But after much finagling and talking to many, many people about arrangements, I manage to organize to do one of the patients at the end of my list, add one first thing tomorrow morning, and find a spot for the 3rd on Friday. This means no AFTER HOURS MRIs (a big deal as it is not as safe as we do not have after hours skilled anesthesia help for off-site locations AND it costs more money).

In squeezing in an extra patient, I made myself late for my other important dates, which resulted in rheumatologists and haematologists calling me, paging me, and showing up in MRI wondering where I was. Ugh.

But by rushing around, I managed to finish it all by 4pm (a miracle) and feeling like although it was a hassle for me, I had done something good for a few patients (and their very worried families).

Another confession: I did not go right home. I decided I would stay at work to get a few administrative things done because I knew Tim was working late and I knew if I stayed at work our amazing babysitter would not only give the kids supper, but clean up after as well! I know, not my finest moment as a mother, but there it is.

I do some billing, fill out some evaluation forms, and have just decided to maybe write a little blog post…when a colleague comes into my office.

We have a chat about a resident who has been struggling and this leads to other topics, and then another colleague joins. And what ensues is SO frustrating. Colleague 1 and I had been talking about ideas about how to make a day like today less frequent (read: create an out-of-OR person to deal with all of the arrangements, phone calls, extra sedations required etc.). Colleague 2 starts shaking his head BEFORE he even hears our ideas. And he proceeds to list off how it will be bad for HIM. ARGHHHH! This enrages me. It is not like I think our ideas are for sure going to work, and he is making some really valid points, but we can at least contemplate a change, right?

Apparently not. And now, my beautiful hour and half, that was meant for me, myself, and I, is gone. I did not spend it with my children. I did not spend it doing something I love (writing). I did not even spend it getting things done. Nope. I spent it listening to more negativity and resistance to change.

Lesson learned: go to coffee shop if I am not going to go home.