OK, so after feeling like I failed AGAIN, I had a revelation. A mindful moment doesn’t have to be nice or quiet or peaceful. In fact, I think that is the whole point: to focus on the details of what is happening NOW without judgement and distraction. So, after this reframing, here is my ‘moment’:
I am sitting in Kirby’s rocking chair, trying to give him a cuddle. But he is in constant motion: needs a drink, has to close the door more firmly, wants his turtle on his bed, etc. Each time he pushes off of me to go and do one of these things and then returns for a brief cuddle. I notice the noise outside of the other kids playing with Tim; I notice the tenseness in my neck that always occurs when I feel “too busy”; I am aware of the slight irritation I feel because I just want to “get on with it” and get things done. And then I also notice the sweetness of Kirby’s 2-year-old voice telling me he will be “right back” as he goes to yet another task. And when he finally settles in, I am aware of his weight, his soft curly hair, and his sweet cheek pressed against mine. I guess the point is that moments can be filled with all sorts of things at the same time: sweetness, irritation, stress. But it is still a moment in time to be savoured and not judged.