I don’t know about you, but I seem to be overwhelmed by life right now. Like, dropping the ball on things, forgetting things, mind spinning all the time with the to-do list – overwhelmed. And yet, when I sit back, take a breath, and try to focus on the “now” I realize that it is all good. All the things I am scheduled to do, want to do, have to do, they are all wonderful! And yet, it doesn’t feel wonderful. It feels like too much racing from one thing to the next, never really experiencing what is going on. Actually, it feels like this:
I have recently discovered this blog and I find it really inspiring. Now, as Tim will tell you, I am very far from “BEING minimalist” BUT as I get older I am more and more realizing the wisdom of have less stuff and more time and experience. And so I am inspired by the idea of minimalism (especially the part of becoming, because it suggests a journey, a gradation).
In this blog post, the writer describes feeling like she was drowning, with her face just below the surface of the water. And she is drowning in goodness – in good things!
And this really resonates with me. This weekend alone, Tim and I are meeting friends for supper (after 3 months of trying to set a date), I am volunteering as the class supervisor for my daughter’s dance recital (LOVE this), we are going to said dance recital and the dress rehearsal (obviously), we are hosting a “practice party” for the all the kids doing their violin exam, my mom and step dad are visiting (thank goodness, since we need help!), we are participating in our street garage sale, and Ariel has 2 birthday parties. This is crazy! And it is going to be difficult to enjoy these things because there are SO many of them. And I don’t do well with chaos and rushing, and frankly, neither do the kids.
Next weekend looks much the same. And over the last few weeks I have been working mostly full-time with no weekdays off. I KNOW that most people do this all the time, but my life isn’t organized for that. And so we have no groceries, clean clothes, homework is not done, etc.
This feeling is not a good one. And I am especially bothered because of how wonderful all of these events are. And they are choices. That, coupled with reading that recent blog post, is inspiring me to attempt to pare down my life. I think I need to spend time alone and some time with Tim really thinking about our priorities. How do we want to spend our time? What is most important? And then figure out ways of protecting our time better, even if it means saying “no” to good things. Hopefully this will allow our lives, which really are blessed and wonderful, to really feel that way.
Happy weekend to all of you! I am off to practice mindfully being where I am this moment during this busy weekend.