Interestingly, I wrote this almost one year ago for New Year 2015 and NEVER hit publish. I am starting early this year – giving myself a kick in the pants. I re-read it, which is always a bad idea, and so many things I hate about this writing, but I am sending it out anyway. Just to get myself going. Happy start of holidays.

Although I have been absent from this site for a long time, I have been writing a lot….in my head. As always, I energetically grasp at new beginnings. And so, I am aiming this year to write more outside of my head this year.

Beginning with these thoughts which have been swimming around inside my head for quite some time:

I am happy. But life is complicated….and there is nothing wrong with that. Highs and low go together.

I am very blessed. In every way: family, friends, spouse, job, location. Blessed indeed.

I am afraid. Of the other shoe dropping. Surely, I can’t remain this lucky for this long. Something bad must happen at some point. I have thoughts like this all the time.

It is the mid way point of my life. My husband turned 40 in September, and I will turn 40 this year. I don’t want to waste the (hopefully) second half of my life. We don’t know how much time we have. Ever.

I need to spend some time carefully considering how I want to spend my time. There are some big challenges happening at work and a great deal of pressure to take on new roles. Do I want to? Will it be worth it? What will I have to sacrifice to do it?

What are my personal goals this year? Is there anything I want to do that I would really regret not doing if I suddenly found out that there was no more time?

What are Tim’s goals? I can honestly say I don’t know what he wants out of the next year. We need to spend some time connecting on this topic (he loves having those kinds of conversations – NOT).

I am turning 40. 40!!! There are some things I need to let go of, once and for all.

And finally, even if I do nothing new this year, even if one year from now I write these same random thoughts, I am going to remind myself that that is just fine.

Because really, everything is already great just the way it is.

(But I do love New Year’s reflections, resolutions, and goals.)